


white roses

by daveeddiggs



Series: portraits — an anthology [1]
Category: enchancer, greyson chance - Fandom, greyson's friends
Genre: Greyson - Freeform, M/M, Portraits, basically a one shot, dont worry im just as hurt as you are, first person POV, greyson chance - Freeform, kinda angst????, no dialogues, part of an anthology, this is the most painful thing ive ever done to myself thus far, this isnt happy i promise you, white roses hurt me so bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 14:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20602559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daveeddiggs/pseuds/daveeddiggs
Summary: based off of greyson chance's white roses. i'd listen to it if i were you.and stream portraits on spotify, too!





	white roses

**Author's Note:**

> based off of greyson chance's white roses. i'd listen to it if i were you.
> 
> and stream portraits on spotify, too!

_ “Next station, Katipunan Station.” _

I know it’s crazy.

_ “Thank you for boarding the LRT.” _

I know it’s stupid.

_ “Wishing you a safe and convenient journey.” _

But, at every train stop, I still wait for you.

_ The train begins to move, and I hold on to the handrails. _

I still wait for you, Andrew.

_I stare at my reflection on the train door._

You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and forever will remain.

_The scar on my nose is still fresh._

I remember every single memory, every single moment.

I remember that time we danced to your favorite record in the dim shade of your porch light. You played  _ Now and Forever _ , and I could  _ not _ , for the life of me, fathom just how lucky I was to have you. You spun me around and kissed me lightly. Your tender lips rested upon mine as we listened to the old vinyl spinning on the phonograph. I remember teasing you for having a phonograph on your porch, too, “That was dad’s idea, I could never get him to agree to place it inside.”

I remember running to the  _ santan _ bushes around your front yard and hiding when your dad would suddenly open the front door. I remember you explaining to him how you just love listening to the phonograph in the middle of the night. I remember you going inside through your front door, without as much as a  _ goodbye _ , without as much as a glance.

I remember that one movie date, when we watched  _ Call Me By Your Name _ together. You bought me sour cream & onion fries, even though you hated the way it smelled. You remembered how much I love Mountain Dew, so you bought me that, too. I remember walking through the cinema door, 20 minutes late, whining how we missed so much of the plot, and you whispering in my ear how we  _ ‘won’t be watching much of the movie, anyway’ _ , and me giggling like a little girl. I remember telling you we were seated 2 rows behind some of your old high school buddies, and you saying, “Shh, we’re in the movies, you really need to be quiet, babe.”

I remember you calling me your  _ ‘cousin’ _ in front of your friends, telling me to  _ ‘wait in the car, I’ll drive you home to Tía Grace’s, let me just catch up with my bros’ _ . I remember being speechless, but muttering a shy  _ ‘yes, kuya _ ’, anyway. I remember the tears falling down my cheeks, making their way to my shirt as I walked as fast as I could to your car. I remember you getting in the car minutes later, without as much as an apology, without as much as an explanation, an acceptable reason.

I remember the night you told me you were tired. I thought you meant you wanted that day to end, but it turned out you wanted  _ you  _ to end. You told me how your parents went on a trip, and you were holding a bottle of out-of-date prescription pills, with a bottle of vodka on the bedside table. I remember you telling me you were  _ ‘tired, so so so tired.’ _ , and that  _ ‘one swallow is all it will take to end the pain’ _ . I remember panicking, running to my car in the garage, fumbling with the keys, tears in my eyes, with your voice on loudspeaker. I remember reassuring you  _ ‘it will all be okay’ _ , because i was  _ ‘on my way’ _ . I remember running through three red lights, almost getting my ass arrested. But, I kept thinking  _ ‘it’s fine’ _ .  _ ‘It’s worth it’ _ . Because it was for  _ you _ .

I remember coming to your house, sprinting through your front door, only to be greeted by your dad. I remember the first punch he lands on my nose, shouting how i managed to  _ ‘turn his son gay’ _ , how i was  _ ‘a disgrace to society’ _ , and how i  _ ‘belong in hell together with all the other unpure and sinful souls’ _ . I remember the first few punches, but i don’t remember how he beat me senseless. I saw a glimpse of you on the staircase with bloodshot eyes and lips that were raw.

I remember thinking how that was the first time I saw you crying.

I also remember thinking you weren’t crying for me. Not at all. You knew Tío Mario was going to beat you up if he knew. So you made a whole story up. How _I_ turned _you_ gay. How I forced you into dates. How I made you suck my dick. How it was all _my_ fault, and _you_ had no choice.

But, Andrew, we both know that none of that was ever true.

_ “Attention all passengers, this train is approaching Katipunan Station. Please be mindful of your belongings.” _

At least I do.

_ “Arriving at Katipunan Station.”  _

Because I remember.

_ The train comes to a stop. _

And yes, I know it’s crazy.

_ The doors open. _

I know it’s stupid.

_ You walk through the door, a visible scar on your left eye. _

But, at every train stop, I still wait for you.

_ You were looking at me. _

I still wait for you, Andrew.

_ I was looking at you. _

You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and forever will remain.

_ We were holding glances. _

I remember every single memory, every single moment.

_ But we were tongue-tied. _


End file.
